Sunday, February 27, 2011

A Letter to the Dude Who Drives Slowly in the Left Lane

Dear Dude Who Is Driving Slowly in The Left Lane:

I must say, I was confused fifteen minutes ago, when you, who seem to be perfectly content to travel at a reasonable 70 MPH, decided to shift over into the left lane, which as any person who has any idea how to drive a car knows, is for passing , or, at least, driving at a considerably faster rate than the cars in the right lane. However, at that point in time, I was still far behind you, and I assumed that perhaps you had some reason to shift lanes, and I simply couldn’t see what that was yet.

Well, no, you clearly had no reason to perform such a maneuver. For the past few miles, you’ve still been traveling at 70 MPH. The only problem is, the car in the right lane is traveling at about the same speed. However, that is all that you have in common with the driver in the right lane.

You see, the driver in the right lane understands that the left lane is not the place to be if you are going to drive that slowly. It has been scientifically proven that the only people who travel slowly in the passing lane are what is commonly referred to as Fucking Idiots Who Should Never Have Been Given a License.

I have no problem with the speed you at which you are driving. It’s five over the limit, and perfectly reasonable. I have a problem with the fact that you are the stupidest human being I have ever encountered. You have officially no reason to be in this lane right now, and none of this would be a problem if it weren’t for the fact that you have been driving parallel to the guy in the right lane for five minutes now, making it virtually impossible for me to pass you. I can only surmise that you are an irresponsible or unsafe driver, for if you were a safe motorist, you would have checked your mirror by now and realized, “Oh shit, there is a line of cars behind me being operated by people who wish to travel faster than I am. Perhaps I should accelerate just enough to pass this car next to me, then get back into the lane I belong in.”

So, while you may have convinced yourself that you are a safe driver based on your decision to drive at a speed of 70 MPH, you obviously do not check your mirrors and are therefore an extremely irresponsible motorist.

The other option is that you have checked your mirrors, yet still do not understand that the people behind you want so badly to pass you. Which would make you, officially, an idiot. The only way you could have passed your driver’s test was by threatening someone with a gun, because seriously, if you are on the highway and you don’t realize the purpose that different lanes serve, then you should not be driving on the highway.

This may sound harsh, but hear me out: you are never allowed to get into a car again.

Go get Fucked by a Rhinoceros,


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Friday, February 25, 2011

Painted Truck Optical Illusion

The Painted Truck Optical Illusions are photoshops (as you can see its the same truck used in each picture) never the less its a cool illusion. These are european Semi Trucks have all be painted with a different theme/product. Would be neat to see one actually going down the road!

Thanks Dad!

Driving on the Wrong Side

Searched driving conditions in Utah and found this picture.  They are on the wrong side of the road. Wtf?


Link List 2-25-11

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Even More Nature Wallpapers

Reddit Asks: What is the most useless fact you know?

The King of hearts is actually being murdered. He is the only court card who has 4 hands in his picture. Also!! The sleeve which is attached to the sword which is being driven into his head does not match his sleeves. However the sleeves do appear very similar to the sleeves on the Queen of Spades . As well the Queen of Spades is the only queen who looks to the right instead of left.

Tigers love pepper, they hate cinnamon.

You can't name your child "Anus" in Denmark.

Whaling is illegal in Oklahoma. And in Utah.

Most elephants weigh less than the tongue of a blue whale.

Ulysses S. Grant had no middle name. He just wrote the S because it looked cool.

Harry S Truman’s middle name was actually just S.

Grover was Grover Cleveland's middle name. Stephen Cleveland doesn't sound quite as presidential.

More people are killed by vending machines than sharks.

A banana tree isn't actually a tree, but instead an overgrown herb.
More Here

Link List 2-15-11

Why the Unemployment Rate Has Become a Bad Joke

Friday, February 4, 2011

When Putin Met Regan

In May 1988, President Ronald Reagan traveled to Moscow for his 4th summit with Mikhail Gorbachev. The Soviets prepared a grand welcome; buildings across from the Kremlin were repainted, streets repaved and trees and flowers planted along the boulevards. The president’s schedule included attending the Bolshoi Ballet, speaking to students at Moscow’s State University and visiting Danilov Monastery, while First Lady would tour Leningrad.
In the above photo, the man with the camera around his neck standing behind the boy was the current Russian Prime Minister (and former president) Vladimir Putin. He was pretending to be a tourist in his capacity as a KGB agent. On that day, on the Red Square, Gorbachev introduced Reagan to various tourists, who asked the American president pointed questions about subjects such as human rights in the United States. The photographer of this picture, Pete Souza, turned to the Secret Service and commented, “I can’t believe these tourists in the Soviet Union are asking these pointed questions.” The agent replied, “Oh, these are all KGB families.”

The rest of the story