Saturday, March 31, 2012

1 Enitre Hour of Fail





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Friday, March 30, 2012

How?


Translating Specific Phrases

The following list of phrases and their definitions might help you understand the mysterious language of science and medicine. These special phrases are also applicable to anyone reading a PhD dissertation or academic paper.

“IT HAS LONG BEEN KNOWN”… I didn’t look up the original reference.

“A DEFINITE TREND IS EVIDENT”… These data are practically meaningless.

“WHILE IT HAS NOT BEEN POSSIBLE TO PROVIDE DEFINITE ANSWERS TO THE QUESTIONS”… An unsuccessful experiment, but I still hope to get it published.

“THREE OF THE SAMPLES WERE CHOSEN FOR DETAILED STUDY”… The other results didn’t make any sense.

“TYPICAL RESULTS ARE SHOWN”… This is the prettiest graph.

“THESE RESULTS WILL BE IN A SUBSEQUENT REPORT”… I might get around to this sometime, if pushed/funded.

“IN MY EXPERIENCE”… Once

“IN CASE AFTER CASE”… Twice

“IN A SERIES OF CASES”… Thrice

“IT IS BELIEVED THAT”… I think

“IT IS GENERALLY BELIEVED THAT”… A couple of others think so, too.

“CORRECT WITHIN AN ORDER OF MAGNITUDE”… Wrong.

“ACCORDING TO STATISTICAL ANALYSIS”… Rumor has it.

“A STATISTICALLY-ORIENTED PROJECTION OF THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THESE FINDINGS”… A wild guess.

“A CAREFUL ANALYSIS OF OBTAINABLE DATA”… Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over a glass of Mountain Dew.

“IT IS CLEAR THAT MUCH ADDITIONAL WORK WILL BE REQUIRED BEFORE A COMPLETE UNDERSTANDING OF THIS PHENOMENON OCCURS”… I don’t understand it

“AFTER ADDITIONAL STUDY BY MY COLLEAGUES”… They don’t understand it either.

“THANKS ARE DUE TO JOE BLOTZ FOR ASSISTANCE WITH THE EXPERIMENT AND TO CINDY ADAMS FOR VALUABLE DISCUSSIONS”… Mr. Blotz did the work and Ms. Adams explained to me what it meant.
 
“A HIGHLY SIGNIFICANT AREA FOR EXPLORATORY STUDY”… A totally useless topic selected by my committee.

“IT IS HOPED THAT THIS STUDY WILL STIMULATE FURTHER INVESTIGATION IN THIS FIELD”… I quit.

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10 Practical Jokes

April Fools Day is coming! Get ready!



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Where is Syria?

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Average Person

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Annoying


Trade

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Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Seth MacFarlane does Kermit "Taken"





Go here to skip to the Kermit part

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Real World Perspective

Let me tell you a few of the things you've got going for you right this moment and aren't even thinking about:


1. Within 30 seconds of where you are sitting right now, there's a sit-down toilet next to a tap that delivers clean, drinkable water and/or hot water suitable for showering.


2. That gas station you manage is corporate, which it's heated in the winter, air conditioned in the summer, well lit, resistant to earthquakes, keeps out bugs and won't kill you if it catches on fire.  You don't have to worry about any of this yourself, except for calling a repair man if something gets out of hand.  When you call, he'll come quickly and be able to fix the problem. 


3. When a customer comes in, 99% of the time he or she is speaking to you in English.  If someone doesn't speak English, that's their problem. When you go to the bank, the post office, any government office or any store, you speak English.


4. You've got a credit card in your pocket, and some cash.  If you want more, there's an ATM where you work. You regularly come into contact with poor people, but no one so poor that they can't afford food, or are dying of an illness that is treatable through hand washing, mosquito nets or inexpensive medication. You almost never encounter a malnourished child.


5. You probably own a car.  It's not new, or the fanciest car in your town, but it's probably got airbags, anti-lock brakes, seat belts, windows that open and close. If you don't own a car and use public transport instead, you ride in a clean bus, train or aircraft that is well-maintained, regularly scheduled, and probably built in the last 15 years. 


6. When you want to buy food or medicine, you know that they're clean and of decent quality.  Your favorite foods are easily available to you. You have the choice of going out to a restaurant or cooking for yourself.  There are a variety of restaurants within 30 minutes of you, as well as full-size grocery store where the shelves are always stocked with a tremendous variety of merchandise.


7. Your family and friends are easy to reach and get in touch with.  You have shared experiences with them and they understand your life and what you're going through. 


8. When you walk in the street, no one stares at you because of the color of your skin or the way you're dressed.  No one singles you out to ask for money or what you're doing. If you need to ask someone directions, they understand you and don't look at you like you're from another planet.

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Win Compilation 2010

Bill Dance - Fishing Bloopers





I Love You

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Truth in Advertising

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I'm Not an Alcoholic

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Tenacious D - To Be The Best





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My Life


Monday, March 26, 2012

Tree

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Hate


Auto-Response

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Ultimate Treadmill Fail Compilation





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Police Dog Awards

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Dear Nasa

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I Can't

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Business Cat

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Smart Phones and


Neat nature fact


Natural Selection

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Morality versus Religion


Sense of humor

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Every Birthday Card

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Greener Grass


Only the dog knows

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*Boop

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I'm Back Baby!

Sorry everyone!  I know that my site has been down for a week.  I switched domain hosting sites to get away from GoDaddy and I was having some issues with the settings.  I have that all worked out for now and will resume posting regularly.  Carry on!