Use Your Blinker: January 2015

When Jane initially met Tarzan in the jungle, she was attracted to him.

And during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex?

Tarzan not know sex he replied.

Jane explained to him what sex was.

Tarzan said ....Tarzan use knot hole in trunk of tree.

Horrified Jane said,Tarzan you have it all wrong, but I will show you how to do it properly.

She took off her clothing and laid down on the ground.

Here she said, pointing to her privates,you must put it in here.

Tarzan removed his loin cloth, showing Jane his considerable manhood, stepped closer to her and kicked her in the crotch!

Jane rolled around in agony for what seemed like an eternity.

Eventually she managed to grasp for air and screamed What did you do that for?

Tarzan replied, Check for squirrel.

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Forgive me Father for I have sinned.............. "go on" says the priest.

"I swore the other day" says the man. "continue" says the priest.

"I was on the golf course the other day and i hit my drive, it was looking perfect, heading dead straight. About 200 yards down my ball hit a power line crossing the fairway."

"And this is when you swore?" asked the priest.

"No father, my ball then ricocheted of the power lines and flew off into the deep rough" continued the man.

"This must have been when you swore?" the priest exclaimed.

"No father, not yet. As i was walking over to the rough to hit my second shot a hawk flew down from the trees, picked my ball up in his beak and proceeded to fly off with it" continued the man.

"Ahhh I see" says the priest "this must have been the point where you swore."

"Nope not yet, as the bird flew over the green the ball fell from its mouth and landed two feet from the hole."

The priest pauses for a few seconds "You missed the fucking putt didn't you?"

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