Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Best Subtle Safe for Work Insults

Reddit asked for your favorite safe for work insults and these are the top results:

  • I envy people who haven't met you.
  • You couldn't pour water out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel.
  • You are two letters short of an asset.  
  • I hope your day is as pleasant as you are.
  • I've been called a lot worse by a lot better.
  • The only culture you possess is bacterial.
  • You're just like Rapunzel. Except instead of letting down your hair, you let down everyone in your life.
  • Oh honey, you're not pretty enough to be stupid.
  • I'd agree with you but then we'd both be wrong.
  • You're about as sharp as a marble, aren't you?
  • I would insult you, but nature already did that.
  • Nobody likes you. People tolerate you.
  • To call you a half wit would be a compliment.
  • I have neither the time nor crayons to explain this to you.
  • If I wanted to kill my self, I'd climb to your ego and jump down to your IQ
  • Everyone who ever loved you was wrong  
  • I'm sorry I mistook your competency.
  • You look like you're going to spend your life having one epiphany after another, always thinking you've finally figured out what's holding you back, and how you can finally be productive and creative and turn your life around. But nothing will ever change. That cycle of mediocrity isn't due to some obstacle. It's who you are. The thing standing in the way of your dreams is; that the person having them is you.
  • You wouldn't know the difference between a headache and an idea.
  • Your words are as empty as your future.
  • Regarding Leadership: I wouldn't follow you out of a burning building.
  • If we played king of the hill on the bell curve. You would win.
  • You couldn't win even if you had the high ground.
  • I'll bet you're the reason for more than a couple warning labels.
  • Out of all the people I know, you're one of them.

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