Thursday, July 27, 2017

New Study Out



CHAMPAIGN, IL—Confirming that the findings were consistent across all age, gender, racial, and socioeconomic demographics, a study published Monday in The American Journal of Psychology determined that “hangin’ in there” is the best one can ever expect to feel. “After surveying the emotional state of thousands of respondents, we have concluded that the maximum amount of happiness a human being can now experience falls within the range of ‘gettin’ by’ to ‘hangin’ in there,’” read the report in part, which went on to note that “hangin’ in there” was an extremely rare experience for the vast majority of people, and that lower-grade feelings such as “so-so” and “eh” were far more common. “Although a very small subset of subjects reported occasions of having dispositions elevated to the point of ‘can’t complain,’ this was considered to be an anomaly and not statistically significant.” The report pointed out, however, that while “hangin’ in there” represents the highest potential state of contentment one can hope to reach, there is still no known limit to how shitty one can possibly feel.



TheOnion

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