Tuesday, April 24, 2018

Blonde Jokes

A redhead goes for a drive through the country, just enjoying the peaceful ride with her windows open.

She has to stop as a shepherd is moving his flock across the road.

The redhead gets out of her car to stretch and has an idea.

"Hey Mister! If I can guess how many sheep you have, may I keep one?"

The shepherd has hundreds of sheep and feels confident enough to agree.

The redhead looks over the flock and says, "361."

The shepherd is stunned that she guessed correctly but, being a man of his word, allows her to pick out her favorite.

The redhead is about to put her new pet in her car when the shepherd calls out to her.

"Hey Lady! If I can guess your real hair color, may I have my dog back?"


A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all in the OB-GYN's office.

All very much pregnant.

The brunette strokes her belly and then says, "I just know I'm having a boy."

Blonde and redhead: "Why is that?"

Brunette: "Well, teehee, my husband was on top when this baby was conceived."

The redhead IMMEDIATELY says "Well then I guess I'm having a girl then!"

The blonde asks "Why is that?"

Redhead, slowly "Because I was on top when my baby was conceived."

The blonde burst into tears and sobs: "I'm going to have PUPPIES!"


A blonde woman is going door to door offering to paint houses.

A man in an expensive home answers the door.

She makes her offer and the man replies, “I don’t need my house painted but I’ll pay you $50 to paint my porch.”

The blonde agrees, and the guy is feeling like he got an amazing deal because his porch is enormous.

A short while later the blonde knocks on the door again and asks for payment.

The home owner says, “I thought it would take you a lot longer than that, are you sure you got the whole porch?”

The blonde replies, “I sure did mister. In fact, there was enough paint for two coats. And by the way, it isn’t a Porch, it’s a Ferrari.”


A blonde is going to buy a lottery ticket.

She spends $1, and is delighted to find out that she wins $1,000,000!

As she is claiming her prize, she notices that the rewards will be paid in $1000 installments.

She takes it up with the store, saying "This is unacceptable! Either give me my million bucks or give me my dollar back!"


Two sisters run their fathers old farm, one day they decide they need a new bull to put in the pasture.

The redhead sister is tasked with finding a bull and sending word so the other sister can bring the trailer and pick it up.

Town after town with no luck.

A days drive from their own farm the redhead finds a bull that fits what they're looking for.

She strikes a deal with the owner and heads into the town square to send a telegram to her sister.

She gets to the office to find out she only has enough money left to send one word.

She thinks long and hard about what to send before deciding on the word "comfortable."

Confused the clerk ask why she chose that word, the redhead replied " my sister's blonde, she'll have to read it as "com-for-ta-ble".

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